when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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