He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
