You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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