Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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