I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize