So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.