his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
