Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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