Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
