you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
