just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
