is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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