dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
