my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
