if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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