do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
