Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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