There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
