I think I am morally bankrupt
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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