she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
