I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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