Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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