he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think my vagina is haunted
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize