isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
