He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
