If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize