Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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