Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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