i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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