shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
