I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
