Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.