the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy