I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
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some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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