I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think I sprained my soul last night
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious