i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
