i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
