Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
