wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
