my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
