he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
