Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
