My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
