checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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