I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
