because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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