I cockslap morals
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize