At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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