Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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