So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
