After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
