if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize