For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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