Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize