haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
