I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
