i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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