I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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