We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you didnt know i had herpes?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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