everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
