history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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